


Book Three - Part One: Two Worlds (Prelude)

by Lone_Wolf_Fanfics



Series: The Infinite Defenders Series [6]
Category: Thor (Comics), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Asgard, Asgard Magic, Asgardian Culture (Marvel), Dancing, F/M, Fluff, Frigga (Marvel) Knows All, I'm Bad At Tagging, Light Elf, Light Elves, Longing, Magic, Panserbjørne, Pre-Thor (2011), Protective Frigga (Marvel), Royalty, Shy Loki (Marvel), Sorcerers, celestial, celestial/Asgardian Hybrid, polar bear - Freeform, powers, Álfheimr | Alfheim
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-19
Updated: 2020-05-03
Packaged: 2020-12-24 03:23:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 14,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21092582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lone_Wolf_Fanfics/pseuds/Lone_Wolf_Fanfics
Summary: Loki and Nienna have been friends for centuries. Each one completely and utterly in love with one another, but equally terrified of those feelings.But Loki's time with Nienna is running out, and he has to decide whether to let her go...or fight for her.





	1. Nienna

**Name: **Nienna (nee-EHN-ah, like Vienna with an N instead of a V)

**Nickname:** Little Bear (Loki and Iorek) Little Mischief (Odin)

**Title:** Ward of Asgard. Ward of Frigga. Bear Cub of Asgard.

**Age:** 900 + years

**Species:** Celestial/Asgardian hybrid

**Appearance:**

**Hair:** Red

**Eyes:** Light Brown

**Portrayed by:** Madelaine Petsch

**Family:**

Jemiah the Analyzer - Father

Unknown Asgardian Mother - Deceased

Lorelei – Older Half Sister

Ego – Paternal Uncle

Peter Quill – Paternal Cousin

Iorek – 'Brother'

Frigga - Guardian

**Loki - Childhood best friend, crush and future lover**

**Personality:**

Nienna is hungry for experience. She is rebellious and wilful and obeys no one unless she thinks she has good reason to do so.

Nienna loves architecture and spends her free time designing new buildings. Her fatal flaw is hubris, otherwise known as excessive pride: she thinks she can do anything and do it well, even better than the gods.

Nienna can be very caring but possessive of the people she loves. For example, she is very anxious about losing Loki to another. She hardly ever shows her true feelings, when worried or upset she often disguises it with anger. She is also not quick to give up on those she cares about.

Though she is very caring she can be harsh and judgemental during first meetings, but after winning her approval she is very loyal. She is very strong-minded and equally stubborn, she is also incredibly brave and daring. Nienna shows many signs of dauntlessness, courage, and determination.

She has a lot of nerve. Nienna is also an intellectual genius, as well as clever and witty. She's also analytical, strategic, and is very wise. However, she is also very arrogant and proud. Which can get her in trouble sometimes.

Nienna has immense arachnophobia after being tricked by Loki when she was younger, he dropped a load of spiders in her bed. She freezes up just when she sees a spider or anything bearing a close resemblance to one.

** Powers and Abilities: **

**Celestial/Asgardian Hybrid Physiology:**

**Hybrid Physiology:** Due to her heritage, Nienna is part Celestial and part Asgardian, giving her superhuman abilities.

**Superhuman Durability:** Due to her paternal heritage from Jemiah, Nienna holds considerable amounts of supernatural durability and endurance to the point that she is able to physically withstand the exposure to the energy from an Infinity Stone.

**Superhuman Strength:** As a Hybrid, Nienna's physical strength is at immense superhuman levels.

**Superhuman Speed:** Nienna can move at great superhuman speeds.

**Superhuman Reflexes:** Nienna can react and dodge objects traveling at high speeds.

**Superhuman Stamina:** Nienna's advanced musculature is considerably more efficient than that of a human and other Asgardians because of her hybrid nature. As a result, her muscles produce practically no fatigue toxins during physical activity compared to those of humans.

**Superhuman Agility:** Nienna has incredible agility, grace, and speed.

**Energy Manipulation: **Nienna essentially describes her powers as "light." In particular, this is a blue, fiery light that she can shape and transform into physical constructs, she usually creates twin daggers in combat. She once projected radiant beams from her fingers that are able to unlock handcuffs. She is able to create massive light tentacles to combat and restrain her opponents. They can also phase through people to cause them pain and incapacitate them without inflicting damage.

\- **Light Beams:** She can project blasts of 'light' powerful enough to destroy spaceships.

**Hypnosis Inducement:** Nienna has the ability to make people docile and susceptible to suggestion with a touch to the victim's forehead, sending a surge of energy into their minds

\- This is a variation on the power her sister has, only she doesn't use her voice.

**Regenerative Healing Factor:** Despite her body's resistance, Nienna can be injured like any other Asgardian. However, her metabolism enables her to rapidly regenerate damaged bodily tissue with greater speed and efficiency than a human being is capable of.

**Longevity:** Nienna ages at a rate that is much slower than that of a human being and Asgardians.

** Abilities: **

**Genius-Level Intellect:** Nienna is a highly intelligent being

**Expert Combatant:** Nienna is considerably skilled in close-quarters combat, both in armed and hand-to-hand combat. She is able to stand her ground against Loki.

**Acrobat:** Nienna is highly athletic and has high-level dexterity, reflexes, and coordination, which notably allows her to do parkour and free running.

**Multilingualism:** Nienna is well-versed in the native languages of several alien species, including Groot's.

** Equipment/Possessions: **

**Alethiometer:** The alethiometer is a compass-like device that Nienna uses to find truthful answers to questions. It is made of an alloy of two particular rare metals that were used to create a needle that pointed towards the truth. Reading an alethiometer required particular skill and training. Although Nienna is able to do so intuitively. To read the alethiometer, the user first directed three needles to lie over certain symbols on the face of the device to create a question. Then, the user holds this question in their mind, without grasping at the answer, but being content not to know. At this point, the fourth needle swings into action, moving from one symbol to another to create the answer.

_"It is very much like a clock, or a compass, for there are hands pointing to places around the dial, but instead of the hours or the points of the compass there are several little pictures, each of them painted with the finest and slenderest sable brush."_

_\- _This was left for Nienna by her father.


	2. Iorek

The panserbjørn are similar to the Midgardian polar bears in appearance. However, the panserbjørn have opposable thumbs and are very dexterous, capable of skilled metalworking. Their paws are covered in horny skin an inch or more thick, each claw is as long as a child's hand, and as sharp as a knife.

\- Panserbjørn are slightly taller then the average polar bear, they stand between 10-15 ft tall **(Iorek stands at 15ft on his hind legs)** and 5-8 feet wide. Their coat of fur is transparent over their black skin. It appears white, yellowing slightly with age. They like to keep their fur as clean as possible when able. For all intents and purposes, they resemble polar bears. The only difference being that they normally move in a bipedal and have 5 fingers resembling human hands.

\- **Odin rescued Iorek from Jotunheim, last of his kind, when he was just a cub, returning home with him he gave the cub to the child his wife had taken under her wing**. Nienna and Iorek grew up together, side by side, Iorek considers Nienna his 'sister' and she is the only one allowed to ride him. Their bond is unbreakable.

**Iorek and the ****Panserbjørn:** **Personality and traits:**

Like all Panserbjørne, Iorek follows a very strict code of contract, and will in no situation betray a promise he has made. Iorek is extremely proud and formidably selfless but can be strongly sentimental and piteous.

**Skills:**

**Panserbjørne Physiology:** Iorek is a Panserbjørne and as such has all the attributes associated with the species.

**Superhuman Durability:** Iorek has considerable amounts of supernatural durability and endurance.

**Superhuman Strength:** Iorek's physical strength is at immense superhuman levels.

**Superhuman Speed:** Iorek can move at great superhuman speeds, he is faster then Asgardians when running flat out on all fours.

**Superhuman Reflexes:** Iorek can react and dodge objects traveling at high speeds.

**Regenerative Healing Factor:** Despite his body's resistance, Iorek can be injured like any other of his kind. However, his metabolism enables him to rapidly regenerate damaged bodily tissue with great speed and efficiency.

**Longevity:** Panserbjørne age at a reduced rate, meaning they have the possibility to live for thousands of years, it's why they were once used in battle between the Asgardians and the Jotun. It is possible this is where Iorek's parents died.

** Armour: **

Panserbjørne fashion their own armor from sky-iron. As they mature, they forge the pieces one by one. By the time they are adults, they have a complete suit. Panserbjørne considered their armor to be their soul. Odin gifted Iorek some Sky-iron so he could forge his own armor.

** Society: **

Panserbjørne were generally solitary creatures, but they had a loose society on the Realm of Jotuneheim. They were governed by a king who was usually determined by bloodline, but could be elected by combat. 


	3. Other Character(s): Prince Neremy

**Name:** Neremy

**Nickname:** Ner

**Titles:** Prince of Alfheim

**Species:** Ljós-Alfar (Light Elf)

**Face Claim:** Orlando Bloom

**Family:**

King Vesstan – Father

Queen Thaola – Mother (Deceased)

Princess Ara – Younger Sister

**Personality:**

Neremy is a gentle caretaker who lives in the present moment and enjoys his surroundings with cheerful, low-key enthusiasm. He is flexible and spontaneous and likes to go with the flow to enjoy what life has to offer. He can be quiet and unassuming and is hard to get to know. However, to those who know them well, Neremy is warm and friendly, eager to share in life's many experiences.

Neremy has a strong aesthetic sense and seeks out beauty in his surroundings.

Like all elves, Neremy has a great respect and appreciation for the nature of his realm. He is kind and cares greatly for his friends and family.

**Powers and Abilities:**

**Powers:**

As an Elf, Neremy has the abilities typical of his race. He can walk silently grass and snow leaving minimal footprints, allowing him to advance unhindered. His eyes were sharper than that of most other races, seeing through great distances and in the dark. He can even sleep while walking.

He can tame unruly horses with only a few words, without needing reins or saddles. His vision contributed to making him an immensely skilled archer.

Neremy also possesses superhuman strength, speed, stamina, durability, agility, and reflexes.

**Abilities: **Additionally, he has a penchant for archery.

**Weapon:** Bow and "long white knife"

**Future Relationships:**

Nienna (Arranged Marriage)

Loki (Rival)


	4. Playlist

**This is a Two World - Prelude specific playlist using songs from The Infinite Defenders Series playlist:**

https://open.spotify.com/user/5rbo3jh7fz3z1187w9ve6rh6l/playlist/6nNOovkf46FNQtLKU5JXp2?si=TWGCCox7QpuZuBMJ6r1kUA

Some songs will end up on more than one playlist, as they fit with various movie/books/heroes.

**~~ Into Heaven Alone by RAIGN ~~**

_"How can I make you stay forever? Cause I'm too ashamed to ride alone. Only the lonely stay together. But I'm too afraid, too afraid to come"_

**~~ Woman by HONNE ~~**

_"Oh, never did a woman do so much to me. Oh, you've got some kind of hold on me. All the things that you do. You do it all so gracefully. Oh, never did a woman do so much to me"_

**~~ Where's My Love by SYML ~~**

_"Cold sheets. But where's my love. I am searching high. I'm searching low in the night"_

**~~ Die Slow by Venus and the Moon ~~**

_"I can't watch you die slow"_ **   
**

**~~ Moondust by Jaymes Young ~~**

_"The brightness of the sun, will give me just enough. To bury my love, in the Moondust. I long to hear your voice, but still I make the choice. To bury my love, in the moondust"_

**~~ Odyssey by Talos ~~**

_"I wake to your likeness. but how come you're here. I wasn't found in delight. It's the call before it's far from over"_

**~~ Homegrown by Haux ~~**

_"We were so close. I couldn't bare to wait. 'Cause you were a shadow. And I left you in the shade. I was still running from all of my mistakes"_

**~~ You by Keaton Henson ~~**

_"If you must wait, Wait for them here in my arms as I shake. If you must weep, Do it right here in my bed as I sleep. If you must mourn, my love. Mourn with the moon and the stars up above. If you must mourn, Don't do it alone"_


	5. Chapter One

Loki remembers, barely remembers, the first time he met Nienna. He wasn't very old, barely walking, but he remembers her. Bright red hair sitting atop a baby girl's head. He'd been smitten and he knew instantly that she would be his. Even if he would never, ever admit it to anyone ever. But he knew. He's pretty sure Frigga knew too. The way she would watch them together as they grew up. The way Nienna followed Loki around, the way he'd pretend to be annoyed by her but seek her out when she wasn't behind him. She's grown into a beautiful woman. Long red hair. Great big brown eyes. He's been in love with her since he understood what love was. Her spirit. He intelligence. Her thirst for adventure and knowledge. He sees a lot of himself in her, just without the jealousy of Thor. She doesn't hate anyone, doesn't have that bone in her body.

“Loki” she whispers fondly behind him, he turns and smiles seeing her, standing there in a floor-length blue dress, her fashion sense has always been so different from every other Asgardian women, a little more seductive and flattering. She always looks magnificent though. Like a true goddess. And he loves her in blue. He steps closer to her as she adjusts the bottom of her dress.

“You look beautiful” he assures her, sensing her nerves. They've been to these events before but always as children, sneaking in to watch the adults drinking and dancing. Now they're officially old enough to be invited. He reaches down and takes her hand at her side, threading his fingers with hers. He's never been brave enough to tell her how he feels, scared of the rejection. She takes a deep breath, Loki glances down at her. “Why are you nervous, Little Bear?” he asks her. “We've sneaked into these things a million times”

“But this is different” she whispers, she turns to look up at him. “I like sneaking in” she admits. “Because there were no eyes on us, no judgemental gazes, this will be different” He lets her slide her arm in his, curling her fingers into his arm. This is her first official ball and Loki offered to accompany her. He knew his mother had other people in place to do it, already thinking about marrying her off to some high born family but that list mysteriously disappeared. Loki took it. Destroyed it. He can't watch other men with her. And it might be irrational and unfair because he has no idea if she feels the same way as he does. She probably doesn't. She could have her pick of any man in the Nine Realms, why would she choose him? Loki glances behind him hearing heavy footsteps, Nienna's Panserbjørn brother walks towards them, his fur having been washed and brushed through by servants for this event.

“Why are you nervous?” Iorek asks Nienna joining them, seemingly able to sense his 'sister's' mood no matter how well she thinks she is hiding it.

“I just am” she answers with a sigh. “I am not one for crowds of people”

“You will be fine” Iorek assures her walking at her side, each of his steps echoing along the corridor. Nienna threads her fingers through the fur of his shoulder. “You can create almost anything you desire with your mind, you can manage a single party.....” Loki smiles in agreement. “A party with your friends and family”

“Bear speaks sense” Loki agrees.

“Call me bear one more time and I will chase you down” Iorek threatens, Loki laughs pulling Nienna closer to him.

“You would never risk harming the Little Bear” Loki points out, Nienna chuckles, Loki's arm tightens around her as she leans into him. Iorek gives them both a look before pushing himself up onto his back legs, towering his full 15 feet over them. Nienna wiggles free of Loki and moves to hug Iorek, his paw coming around to rest on her back.

“Thank you, Iroek” she whispers warmly before pulling back and moving to Loki who takes her hand.

“You take his advice but mine is not good enough?” Loki teases, she shrugs.

“He's my brother” She points out.

“Oh, I see how it is” Loki mumbles, she leans into his side.

“Your council will always be welcome” she assures him, he looks down at her as she smiles, Iorek watches them both knowingly. Loki and Iorek might not always agree or get along with one another, but Nienna means everything to the two of them, that is enough in common for them to be frenemies and battle brothers. Iorek is also very good at reading people, he reads these two better because he has grown up around them, he knows how they both feel for each other and he knows they are both terrified of those feelings and of telling one another. He knows neither will ever tell the other how they feel, that fear too strong, to consuming.

….......

Loki, Nienna and Iorek stand in front of a huge set of double doors waiting on their last companion, they'd all agreed to do this together, as they have done everything else in their lives. Thor is far more excited than both Loki and Nienna put together, he always in when the words party and food are ever used in a sentence. He smiles seeing his brother and his friends waiting to enter the ballroom.

“Loki” he cheers, Loki sighs and turns to him. “Are you both excited?” Thor asks placing a hand on both their shoulders. “I am excited” He adds with a huge smile.

“Nienna is a little nervous” Iorek offers, Thor looks to him and then to Nienna.

“I am sure you will be fine” Thor assures her. “You are the bravest person I know” Nienna looks up at him surprised. “Why do you look so surprised?” he asks her.

“I am not that brave” she answers.

“Says the girl that once climbed to the top of a spire to inspect the intricate metalwork” Loki points out, she shrugs. “You could have fallen, and even you would have died”

“It was not that far” she argues, Loki and Thor stare at her.

“It was the tallest spire in all of Asgard” Iorek reminds her with a smile. Thor nods in agreement. The doors in front of them open and Nienna takes a deep breath clutching to Loki's arm. He places his hand over hers and brushes his thumb over her skin to try and comfort her. All eyes are on the four of them. Iorek takes the attention better, someone somewhere is always staring at him, he is the last of his kind and the only Panserbjørn on Asgard. He leads the way, moving forward first. Thor moves to her other side and lets her take his arm too. The three of them have been friends and companions since she arrived in Asgard and they will see this event through together. Thor stands up taller and nods.

“You can do this” Loki whispers to Nienna, she squeezes his arm and nods. “Just follow Iorek's lead” she turns her head to look at him, eyes meeting, his softening to reassure her.

“I can do this” she agrees with him. Loki presses his forehead to hers and then pulls back, the four of them walking together, side by side by side into the ballroom. 


	6. Chapter Two

Loki watches as Thor dances with Nienna, he knows it's just something they do, she can't show favourites between them even when he knows she prefers his company when there are strangers around. She's not comfortable around people she doesn't know. He knows how uncomfortable they make her. It's why she had attached herself to Loki and Thor. But he gets to watch her, so he really cannot complain all that much. The way her dress moves with her, like waves. The way she smiles listening to Thor. She looks really beautiful and Loki's heart aches. He lifts his drink to his lips and smiles watching Thor spin out Nienna before pulling her closer. He would be jealous but he knows that Nienna and Thor's relationship is different to the one she and Loki share. They're friends but that's it. Thor doesn't feel the way Loki does about Nienna and that makes things different between them. Loki takes a deep breath as Thor's place is taken by another, a young light elf man slips closer to Nienna, dancing with her closer than Thor did, more personal. Loki hates it. He clenches his fingers around his glass. His mind screaming at him: not fair, not fair, not fair. But he knows that if he just told her how he felt none of this would be happening, she'd be here at his side. But he's a coward. And he won't. He turns away, unable to watch her dance with other men.

..................

Nienna slips away from the gentleman she was dancing with and makes her way back to Loki, making sure he doesn't follow her. Loki's back is to her when she reaches him, her fingers dancing along his spine before she leans around him to look at his face.

"Save me" she whispers in his ear, Loki chuckles. "He smells really terrible" she complains taking his drink from him and takes a generous sip from it. "I only wish Iorek would maul on command" she teases, Loki turns to her surprised.

"That's so cruel" he points out and smirks. "I'm rather impressed"

"Well he smells **that** bad" she argues and looks up at him, her lips spreading into a grin. "Do you think we've been here long enough?" she asks as he takes his drink back, he smirks and shakes his head.

"No" he answers. "We've only be here long enough for Thor to flirt with seven different women" she smirks and leans into his arm. "He has to get to fifteen before we can leave" she sighs a little, he brushes his fingers against her wrist.

"Nienna" Frigga states moving towards her. "Come, there is someone from Vanaheim I want you to meet" Frigga takes Nienna's hand and pulls her along. Nienna shoots Loki a pleading look, he shrugs back unable to save her from his own mother. Loki now has to watch suitors, because he knows that who these people are, the ones that his mother are introducing Nienna to. He holds it in, that jealousy, that pain at seeing other men interested in her.

.................

Loki stands on a balcony overlooking Asgard the sounds of the party flittering through the open doors behind him. He takes a deep breath and then smiles hearing Nienna joining him. She pushes herself up onto his back, his hands instantly finding her legs. He smiles as she rests her chin on his shoulder, her arms around his neck.

"That's fifteen" she comments. "Save me from all those eligible bachelors" he smiles and turns his head to face her.

"I know just where to go" he offers warmly.

..............

Loki glances over the top of his book to look at Nienna, her legs tangled with his as she sit opposite him, she draws in her large sketchbook, her fingers all black with the charcoal she uses. It's even smeared on her cheek. Her hair is no longer neat and precise. She allows herself to be like this only with him, she is comfortable enough with him to be herself. This is their 'special' place. A hidden alcove in the library, high above the books, away from prying eyes, comfortable and close together. It's so quiet in here this time of night. Just the two of them together. Just how he likes it. Loki closes his book and she glances up at him as he moves closer to her, turning he sets his head in her lap laying out with his legs stretched out, feet pressed against the wall. She threads her fingers through his hair, he smiles closing his eyes leaning into her touch. She won't ever admit how she feels for him. Loki is a prince, and she is just a ward of Frigga's. She's basically the family pet. The family pet doesn't end up with the prince. She'll be married off to broker some form of alliance for the family. She knows that. She knows that's what Frigga has been doing. She will have to say goodbye to her friends one day, and probably one day soon considering how much harder she's been working to introduce different men to Nienna. She doesn't want to leave. She doesn't want to leave Loki or Iorek or Asgard. This is her home. She closes her eyes and pushes all that back, she can't ruin her mood with Loki, he'll read it on her and he'll want to know what's wrong and they'll argue, he always seems to get upset when she mentions leaving Asgard. He gets upset and he lashes out at her and they end up ignoring each other for days. So she stopped talking about it. It's better for their friendship.


	7. Chapter Three

Nienna knows what this meeting is about. She knows Frigga well enough by now. Plus when a King arrives with his son to talk diplomatic agreements, she knows that they are not here for Thor or Loki. And the prince of Alfheim is truly a sight. He's beautiful. Long white hair, bright blue eyes that seem to sparkle like starlight. She's...taken back by his beauty. He smiles at her. Nienna finds herself smiling back at him. Frigga touches her arm and smiles.

"Nienna, you remember King Vesstan and his son, Prince Neremy of Alfheim"

"Of course" Nienna agrees. "Your grace" Nienna greets falling into a bow.

"Please" Vesstan stops her gently. "We are here on even ground today, young bear" she smiles and nods.

"Why don't you show Prince Neremy the gardens, the bloom this time of year is always so beautiful," Frigga tells Nienna who glances to her and then to Neremy who smiles at her.

"Very well" Nienna agrees. "Your highness" she offers, he smiles and moves with her as they walk away from Frigga and Vesstan who both share a look behind their backs.

.............

"You know this is their attempt at a set up" Neremy whispers to Nienna as they enter the garden, she smiles and nods.

"Yes," she agrees. "Yea, Frigga has been...rather persistent as of late"

"I was surprised when my father told me that you were unmarried" He admits, she frowns at him. "Or at least engaged to be" he looks at her. "You've always been so beautiful and kind, I thought that some noble lord would have agreed as soon as Frigga started looking"

"I have a very protective friend" she offers, he hums a little.

"Loki" he agrees. "So I've seen" she glances at him. "Everyone sees" he adds. "They are all rather protective of you"

"I have known them my whole life" she admits. "Lived with them my entire life" she adds.

"Not to mention the...Panserbjørne following us" he whispers, Nienna smirks and looks back at Iorek who does tail them, she knows it's because he cares about her, because he worries about her. "You do keep some interesting company" Neremy offers warmly. "It is part of what makes you special" he adds, she blushes slightly and looks down. "Nienna" he states and she looks back up at him. "I knew there was no question as to the outcome of this meeting, Nienna," Neremy tells her as he turns to face her. "The stories that even we on Alfheim hear of your beauty and intelligence...." he smiles at her and takes her hand. "This meeting was merely a formality, but I had already decided on what I wanted...I agreed to an engagement, if that was something that you wanted....if not, then I will be very happy to count you among my friends" he raises her hand to his lips to kiss the back of it. "And your Panserbjørne....."

"Iorek" she offers, he nods.

"Iorek" he corrects himself. "Will be welcome to join you in Alfheim" He assures her. "I do not wish to separate you from those closest to you" he nods to Iorek who narrows his eyes at the elf. Neremy looks back at Nienna. "You will love Alfeim" he offers. "The trees, the...stars...Buildings that spiral into the clouds" he tells her, his eyes lighting up as he talks about his home. "You will be happy there" she searches his eyes. "With me" he whispers with a smile. "You do not have to decide now" he adds. "You can take as long as you want, I believe you are worth waiting for...." she is utterly touched by him, by the sentiment in his words. It makes her realize just how little....romance she's had in her life. Her love for Loki is strong and sure but...when has he said anything like that to her. Loki is her friend, and he always will be, but...is that all he's going to be? Can she see a future with him? She looks down a little and frowns. No. she doesn't think he will. She takes a deep breath and looks back at Neremy. And...Frigga is so excited about this, about Neremy and Nienna's union, how can she let her down?

"I do not need to think about it" she admits and nods before she smiles at him. "I accept" he smiles brightly at her and steps closer to her.

"Are you sure?" he asks her, she nods.

"Yes," she answers. He leans closer to her, his eyes searching hers before he kisses her. Her breath catches and her heart skips a little. But she does think of Loki a little. She has loved him for so long that it does feel a little strange. She's kissed boys before, girls too, just to see what it was like. She's been around 900 plus years, she wasn't going to sit around on the off chance that Loki would ever...do something. Neremy pulls back and smiles.

"Wow" he whispers, she chuckles a little and looks down embarrassed. He strokes her cheek. "I suppose I better go and tell my father the news" he admits rubbing his thumb into the pack of her hand. "I am sure Frigga already has....plans ready"

"She does seem the type" she agrees, he nods and lifts her chin. He kisses her again, softly this time, before he releases her hand and walks away. Nienna touches her lips and then sobers. She needs to be the one to tell Loki about this. He cannot hear it from someone else. She takes a breath and looks to Iorek as he reaches her side. He nudges her hand and she scratches at his fur.


	8. Chapter Four

"Loki?" Nienna asks as she lets herself into Loki's chambers, he stands in front of his fire, staring at the flames, his body tense, shoulders rigid. Something about his mood is off. "I..I've been looking everywhere for you" she offers as she closes the door behind her.

"Here I am" he states flatly.

"I have some news" she swishes her dress slightly, smiling away to herself. "I..well...Prince Neremy of Alfheim has asked me to marry him...and...I said yes"

"I heard" Loki admits, still not turning to her. She watches him a moment.

"You did?" she asks him, he nods. Truthfully, he was passing the gardens and saw them together, spied a little, listened to them talking. He wishes he hadn't been witness to their moment. Part of him blames himself that she agreed to that. Because he couldn't pull his head out of his own ass to tell her how he feels. "Who told you?"

"It doesn't matter" he answers.

"Well...What do you think?"

"What do I think?" he asks her, this time turning to her, trying to hide the pain in his eyes from her, knowing that she is to marry another man, to live and love and _be_ with another man. "Why does it matter what I think?"

"Because you are my friend, my closest friend, and your opinion means a lot to me" She answers with a frown. "What's is the matter with you?"

"Nothing" he answers, she raises an eyebrow at him.

"Loki..." she pushes slightly.

"I don't like him" Loki admits quickly, she raises an eyebrow at him.

"Neremy?" she asks. "Why?" he stares at her, he has no good reason, no explanation that he can give that won't give him and his feelings away. He takes a breath and looks away from her.

"Is that what you want?" he asks her, steering the conversation away from him. "To marry him? To...move to Alfheim? To....have his children?"

"I want to be happy" she answers quietly.

"And you're not here?" he counters. "You're not happy in a palace, with everything given to you on a silver platter" he motions to her. "Latest fashion, best tutors...jewels and gifts" he steps closer to her. "You...that's not even royal blood, not....of nobility.....You're just some baby that they felt sorry for..." she takes a breath, surprised by this outburst.

"Loki" she whispers.

"Go right ahead, marry the elf" Loki snaps at her. "See if I care" she stares at him a moment before clenching her jaw.

"Very well" she whispers as she hangs her head, refusing to cry in front of him, she takes a breath and then holds her head up high, her eyes still threatening but she controls it. "Goodbye, your highness" She states and then walks away, Loki's eyes widen with the realization of what he's just done. He's just dismissed his best friend from his life. The woman he loves. He's sent her off to be with another man instead of fighting for her to stay here with him.

"Nienna" he pleads as he grabs her arm to stop her. "I..." he struggles, she takes a breath and turns to him, shaking his hand from her arm.

"I understand," she tells him, he frowns at her. "Pets are always cuter when they're younger, right?" she offers sadly, he stares at her.

"You can not...you can not think that I think of you like that...That is not..." She shakes her head and takes a step away from him as he reaches for her.

"It seems we have outgrown one another" She states clutching her hands to her stomach, trying to remain poised. "And it's time for me to move on" She shakes her head and then leaves him alone, Loki runs his fingers through his hair and lets out a shaky breath, tears gathering in his eyes.

...............

It's weeks later when Loki sees Nienna next, he regretted his conversation with her immediately after she walked away, he's tried to find her since, but it's like she is actively avoiding him. He doesn't blame her. He will never forgive himself for pushing her away like that. He finds her in the gardens, her favorite place to draw, Iorek at her side. She looks exhausted. Her eyes all red and distant. And he did that to her. He hurt her. Loki clenches his fist at his side as he hides himself to listen to them talking.

................

"Are you sure this is what you want?" Iorek asks of Nienna as she stares at the dying floral bush at her side, he is aware she's been withdrawn the last few weeks. He's actually seen more of Loki than he has of Nienna. The boy is obviously missing her like crazy. He goes to her favorite spots to wait for her to visit, but she never does. She hadn't left her chambers unless it is to talk with Frigga about wedding plans, or spending time with Neremy, until this moment and she is only here with him because he actually dragged her out of her room. She looks exhausted. Emotionally drained. Pained. She is missing Loki just as much as he is missing her.

"It is what is best" She answers flatly as she sets her hands in her lap, clutching them together.

"That is not what I asked you" he whispers, she glances at him.

"Pets don't get a say in their fate, Iorek" she argues.

"Do not lessen their part in your life, or yours in theirs because you are angry and upset with Loki" he scolds her. "Frigga raised you, trained you, Thor is your friend, always has been, and Loki....." Nienna looks away from him and takes a breath. He stops, knowing she is too upset at Loki for him to finish that sentence.

"I cannot stay here" she admits leaning against his side.

"Then....I will go with you" he tells her, she looks at him surprised. "I would follow you anywhere" Iorek assures her. "I am with you, no matter where you go" she gives him a sad smile and nods before she starts crying.

"I never thought I'd leave Asgard" she admits. "But I never thought it would no longer feel like home" She blinks sending tears down her cheek. "Like I have no one left" she whispers sadly.

"You have me" Iorek assures her. "Always" she nods and leans against his shoulder, her fingers clutching to his fur. Iorek meets Loki's eyes across the garden. Loki looks down and away from them. He's really hurt her. He needs to fix this. Fix them. He takes a deep breath and steps into the garden, just as Neremy walks into the garden at the other side, Loki's heart pounds in his chest, he can't talk to her with him there. He needs to be alone with her to explain.

"Nienna" Loki states, calling for her before Neremy can. She appears startled by Loki's appearance as he moves closer to her. "I must talk with you.....Please, I need to talk to you" he whispers, his eyes pleading with her, his eyes begging her to choose him, to stay here with him. Because he needs her to. He just needs her to stay here. With him. He raises an eyebrow in question. Her eyes shining with her tears. Neremy reaches Nienna's side but her eyes remain on Loki.

"Nienna?" Neremy asks her, she takes a breath. Neremy takes her hand and she turns to him, turning her back on Loki. Loki hangs his head, his heartbreaking in his chest. Because he knows she will choose Neremy. Loki can't even tell her how he feels. Even after all these hundreds of years, he still can't admit that he is in love with his best friend. He doesn't deserve her. He walks away from her. Leaves her to her new relationship. To her future as Princess.....as Queen at the side of Neremy. Iorek watches Loki slink off.


	9. Chapter Five

Loki paces his chambers, Frigga watching him with concern, he's been spiraling the last few weeks. Angry and hurt in equal measure. Angry at the elves. Angry at Odin. Angry at Neremy. Angry at Nienna. Angry at Frigga. Well.....angry with everyone. He takes a harsh breath and closes his eyes before spinning on his mother.

“Why did you do this to me?” Loki asks Frigga, she frowns at him. “Sending her away.....to live with the...._elves_”

“Loki” She starts sitting next to him.

“She is my friend, and you are sending her away” His voice breaks at the accusation.

“Nienna made the choice to accept Neremy's proposal” Frigga argues. “It was not forced upon her” Loki looks away from her. “I know you care for her, Loki, but this is her choice, and you have to let her make it”

“I do not want her to leave” Loki whispers as he sits on the edge of his bed, Frigga moves to join him, sitting at his side. “I...” he takes a deep breath and then looks at his mother. “I love her” This is not news to Frigga, she knows he loves Nienna, she's always known, but neither he nor Nienna ever acted on those feelings, and Frigga was hoping that a nudge in the right direction would help them, if she pushed Nienna to wed another that Loki would put a stop to it, and it started well, he'd destroyed all the lists Frigga made of the eligible bachelors in Asgard and beyond, she thought that was heading the right way. But this....with Neremy, it wasn't supposed to get this far. Loki was supposed to profess his feelings before it got this far. And he didn't. Now Frigga has to send away her ward, a young woman she has always thought of as family. The only woman that will ever be right for Loki. Frigga takes Loki's hand in hers.

“Have you ever told her?” Frigga asks, Loki shakes his head. “Well, do you think that if she knew how you felt about her, that she might....stay?”

“No” Loki answers sadly, he knows that it wouldn't matter now, if he had told her before their argument, maybe she would have stayed, but not now. “No, I don't think she would, not now”

“Why?” she whispers. “Loki” she pushes when he doesn't answer her. “What did you do?”

“I said some things.....” He admits, Frigga sighs and he brushes his hand over his cheek to remove his tears. “I was upset and angry and I took it out on her”

“Loki” she scolds.

“I've lost her” he admits as he looks at his mother. “And I don't know what I am supposed to do without her” Frigga touches his cheek, curling her hand around it. He falls into her arms to cry, letting her wrap him up tightly.

….................

Thor sits on Nienna's bed as she opens another congratulations letter from some lord of Asgard, she has received a few of them over the last few weeks, each means as much as the last.....they mean nothing to her. But she knows why there are doing it. To show her their allegiance. Thor's eyes follow her as she paces the floor, her eyes scanning over the letter. Her dress skirt dragging slowly along the floor with her movements. He's barely seen her too, he misses his friend, but he knows Loki is feeling it worse, and Thor wants to try and fix it.

“Loki loves you” Thor admits, she nods and takes a deep breath before she sets the letter onto a pile of others. She turns to face Thor.

“I know he does” She assures him, softly. Loki would not have reacted the way he did if he didn't feel something for her, it has taken her the last few weeks to realize just what he feels for her, and she hates him for it, that now is the moment he chooses to show her his feelings, they have been in each others' lives for more than 900 years, but now, now she is engaged to be married, he does this to her. “But he will never admit it” she points out. “And I cannot stay here and hope that one day....he will tell me” Thor nods a little. “I cannot live my life waiting for him to....to give me something. I can have a life with Neremy, a future....”

“He seems to care for you, very much” Thor whispers in agreement, Neremy is very attentive, very kind, very loving towards Nienna, and they have all come to see the elf fall further in love with her the more time he spends with her. “But not as much as Loki does”

“Thor” she warns sadly as she turns away from him, Thor stands from the bed and moves closer to her.

“And you love him” Thor adds. “If you just told him....”

“Loki is not very good at dealing with feelings, any feelings” She reminds him. “As he has proven these last few weeks....” she whispers. “He has to be the one to make the first move, he has to be the one to....admit his feelings.....and he will not...I have waited long enough, Thor” Thor nods a little and touches her arm before he pulls her into a hug.

“I am going to miss you” he whispers, already getting upset at the thought of her not being right down the hall from him. She's been a part of his life since he was a child, and saying goodbye to her is going to be hard on all of them. She pulls back from him and clears her throat.

“How is he?” she asks quietly, Thor shrugs.

“Not dealing” he answers brushing her hair back. “He is taking this hard...”

“I miss him” she admits, he nods, he knows this. “There's not been a part of my life that Loki hasn't been involved in....and he is missing helping me with this, and I am terrified he will not attend my wedding” Thor brushes tears from her cheek. “And I need him to be there...because he is my best friend and I cannot do this without him” she cries because this is the longest she and Loki have ever gone without talking, and she hates it. “This is all my fault, this is a mistake...I should just tell Ner that I can not do this”

“No” he stops her, Thor shakes his head taking her face in his hands. “No, it is not your fault” he assures her. “You can do whatever you want with your life and your love, Nienna, if this is what you want, then it is not a mistake” he gives her a smile, trying to reassure her. “Loki will come around” he tries to promise. But they both know that Loki is stubborn, and he may never accept that she's chosen to do this. “And Neremy loves you, deeply...he will look after you” Thor kisses her forehead and then pulls back. “Are you going to be alright if I go and scold some sense into my brother?”

“Please, do not force him to be okay with this” She pleads with him. “Let him work through it at his own speed” Thor sighs and gives her a smile before nodding. “But if you do have to go...”

“Thank you” he plants a wet kiss on her cheek and then leaves her alone, closing her chamber door behind him, she sighs and closes her eyes before turning to the pile of unopened letters she still has to go through. The door opens again, this time, softer footsteps enter her room. Neremy looks at her as he turns to face her.

“Nienna?” Neremy asks. “My love?” she hums and turns to him as he closes the door. “What is wrong?” Neremy asks noting her eyes and the tear stains on her cheeks, she gives him a small smile and shakes her head. “Loki?” Neremy asks her, she nods. “He still hasn't....come around?” she shakes her head, he brushes his fingers over her cheek and then kisses the opposite one. “If he cares about you” he pulls back. “The way I know he does...then he will” he takes a breath. “If you need us to...we can postpone the wedding...” she shakes her head.

“No” she assures him. “No, I want to marry you....you are my future, and if he cannot see that....” she shakes her head and stops before she upsets herself again.


	10. Chapter Six

Nienna stands in front of a floor-length mirror, her hands smoothing down the fabric of her wedding dress. Today is the day. And Loki has still not come around. She hasn't spoken to him in months, she hasn't seen him in days, it's taking its toll on her. She misses her best friend. It made her realize how much she leaned on him for companionship. She's been so lonely without him. Her heart is broken because of him. Neremy is good to her, he loves her and she adores him. But he is not Loki. Every moment leading to this, she has hoped that Loki would talk her out of it, he would turn up and announce his love and she could call off the wedding, but he hasn't and she can't. Frigga gives her a sad smile as she sets another jeweled pin into her hair. Frigga knows how much Loki and Nienna mean to one another, and he knows how much Nienna has been struggling without Loki at her side. They had both hoped that Loki would have come around but he has become more withdrawn in the months since his outburst at Nienna.

“You look beautiful,” Frigga tells her, Nienna knows she does, the white dress with blue gems weaved and sewn into the skirt, the lace bodice, the veil that's decorated with blue and white gemstones. Asgard is sewn into her wedding dress. But this day will assure that her connection with the place is severed. She will no longer be a ward of Asgard, but a princess of Alfheim.

…..........

Thor lets himself into Loki's chambers, Thor is dressed in his formal attire, ready to attend his friend's wedding. But Loki hasn't shown himself all morning and Thor fears he knows why. Loki is reading by the fire, but his eyes stare longingly into the flames. He is not dressed for a wedding. He is not going to attend. He is not going to watch the love of his life marry another man. He can't watch that. Thor lets out a breath and shakes his head disappointed.

“Are you really not going to go?” Thor asks Loki who glares at the fire raging in his fireplace. “If you don't, you will regret it” Thor points out, Loki remains silent. “She'd do it for you” Thor reminds Loki. “If it was you getting married....she'd be there for you, no matter how much it would hurt her” Loki hangs his head. Thor scoffs and looks away. “Fine” Thor states. “Have it your way” he turns ready to leave before stopping and turning back to Loki. “You don't deserve her,” Thor tells him. “Not if this is how you repay her for all those years of friendship” Thor adds before he then leaves his brother to his wallowing. Loki glances to the door as it closes and then closes his eyes, he knows Thor is right, he never has and never will deserve Nienna. It is why it is best he stays away from her. It is why it is best he doesn't attend her wedding. Despite how much he wants to run to her and tell her not to do it, beg her to stay with him, to stay on Asgard. But he won't. And it's probably the least selfish thing he will ever do.

….............

The wedding goes to plan. Vows are exchanged. Rituals seen to. And feast eaten. But Nienna wasn't exactly in the right mood to celebrate. There was no sign of Loki throughout the entire thing. She thought he would show, last minute, but he'd show, but he never did. Neremy removes his formal coat and lets out a breath as he pushes closed Nienna's chamber door. He made it known that he wasn't one for formal events, it is part of why Nienna likes him, he enjoys the formal events as much as she does. But she'd left this one earlier than he did. Despite it being their own wedding feast. His eyes find her where she stands on her balcony looking out over the rest of Asgard.

“Nienna” he states softly behind her, she glances back at him.

“You did not have to leave because I did,” she tells him, he gives her a smile.

“Of course I did,” he tells her warmly. “You were upset, I had to check on you” he steps closer to her. “Is it about Loki?” she lets out a breath and looks away from him.

“I am so easy to read” she comments. He leans on the railing next to her, fingers soft on her arm.

“I have spent the last few months with you, my love, I have learned to read you very well” she sniffles as he reaches for her face. “I know how much you wanted him to attend” Neremy admits as he brushes her hair back from her face, her eyes threatening to cry. “I know how much he means to you” she looks at him. “It is okay” he assures her. “I know you love him” she looks away from him, he touches her cheek. “But I promise you I will make it my life's mission to keep you happy and safe” he promises her. “Even if you do not love me” she looks at him. “The same way you love him...You are my wife now, and that is a bond that I will cherish and honor and I will try my hardest to love you the way you deserve to be loved”

“I know you will” she assures him. “As will I.” she leans into his chest and he wraps his arms around her. “I did not agree to marry you because I thought I had to” she admits. “I do love you” she adds and sighs a little.

“You just love him more” Neremy whispers with complete understanding.

“It doesn't matter now” she counters. “Can you...?” she asks motioning to the buttons on the back of her dress, he nods and rounds her to stand at her back, his fingers undoing each button. He touches her shoulder once the last button is free. she pushes the fabric down her body to pool at her feet. Nienna lets out a breath as she steps out of her dress, as beautiful as it is, it is one of the most uncomfortable things she has ever had to wear. She makes her way to her bed as Neremy watches her.

“Are you coming to bed?” she asks him.

“I will” he answers following her. “I just have one little thing to deal with,” He tells her as she sits on the bed. She raises an eyebrow in question. He leans closer to her. “I will be back soon” He promises her, his lips brushing over her cheek, she frowns at him as he walks away and out of her chambers.


	11. Chapter Seven

Loki opens his chamber doors to find Neremy standing there, the two of them share a look, Loki understands why the elf is here. They haven't spoken since the announcement that Neremy was to marry Nienna, not that they'd had much contact before beyond the politeness that comes from state visits. Loki opens the door wider and allows Neremy to enter, then closes the door behind him before he then closes his eyes too. He doesn't want to have this conversation. Not with Neremy. Not with Nienna. Not with anyone. He takes a deep breath, readying himself.

"I hear congratulations are in order" Loki states as he turns to face Neremy. Neremy sighs and then takes a strengthening breath himself, they both need that slight boost to get them through this moment. "I assumed you would be with your new wife" Loki comment, surprised by how even his voice sounds considering that he has spent this whole day hiding away and wallowing in self-pity and self-loathing and longing.

"Your glib is insincere" Neremy comments holding his hands behind his back, fingers clutched together to stop him hitting Loki. "And unwelcome" Neremy takes another breath. "I am here because your recent behaviour has affected Nienna. And I am here without her knowledge or blessing" He admits. "But I am here on her behalf none the less" Loki raises an eyebrow.

"Oh" He states. "I'm listening."

"You better be" Neremy warns. "You upset her" he scolds. "And considering she is now my wife, that makes it my responsibility and my duty to make it right, to make sure that everything in her life is as it should be" Loki glances at him. "If you cared for her, at all, in any capacity, you will fix this" Loki cocks his head. "You will go to her and you will apologise from the bottom of that heart of yours, you will make sure that she leaves Asgard with this hurt fixed"

"If you understand" Loki starts. "Then you know I cannot fix this"

"Then lie" Neremy scolds. "I have heard that is what you are good at...lie to her, make it better, do not let her leave Asgard with this pain in her heart, do not allow for her future to be tainted by this" Loki clenches his jaw before he shakes his head.

"I will not lie to her" Loki argues. "Not now....not ever" Neremy nods a little and looks away thoughtful.

"Very well" Neremy comments and then walks away leaving Loki to his fate. Neremy knows nothing he says will change this. He will just have to comfort his new wife through her heartbreak and hope he can heal even a little part of it.

................

Nienna stands looking up at the palace as the servants place her belongings within a carriage behind her. She's leaving now that she is married. Her husband's home is in Alfheim and that is now where she belongs. She takes a deep breath, some part of her still hoping that Loki is going to show up and apologise, but she also knows that he won't, it's not who he is. Thor approaches her and gives her a sad smile. She's already said her goodbyes to Frigga and Odin in private, Thor is here to do it publicly, because she is his friend. She gives him a small mournful smile back. She's hurting about this. Not about being married to Neremy, she does care for him, a great deal and she knows that he loves her, but leaving Asgard, leaving Loki, it hurts her.

"I am sorry" Thor tells her as he hugs her closer to him. She shrugs and pulls away from him. Neremy threads his fingers with hers at her side. "I wish you both the best" Thor offers honestly. "A good future, a happy future...."

"Thank you" Neremy shakes Thor's hand, Thor nods and gives them both a smile, despite everything that is happening with Loki is he pleased for Nienna, all he ever wanted was for her to be happy, he always thought that would be with Loki here on Asgard, but if it's not, if her happiness is with Neremy, he will accept that. He touches Ninenna's cheek and she smiles sadly at them. They both know that this is Loki's way of showing his displeasure at the situation, he lashes out and withdraws, they both know that Loki cares because he would not be this upset if he didn't. And they both know that this is the end of Loki and Nienna's friendship. It will not survive this. 

"Are you ready, my love?" Neremy asks Nienna who shrugs a little and then nods. There is no use in lingering her any longer. Neremy kisses the back of her hand and then leads her to her horse. He helps her up and then climbs onto his own mount. She glances back at Thor who waves at her, she nods a little and takes a deep breath, resigning herself to her life and the loss of her friendship and her home. She looks forward and takes hold of the reigns before the horse moves with her. Thor watches as Neremy, Nienna and the carriage ride away from him, Iorek walking at Nienna's side.

.................

Thor finds Loki later, Loki is curled up on his couch in front of the fire, his chambers has been trashed and destroyed in his rage and upset. He let her go because it is what is best for her, to have a husband, a family, a real shot at normality and happiness. Loki doesn't think he can give that to her, that he is not worthy of her, so he let her go. He let her leave believing that he hated her, for her. Thor sighs and sits at Loki's side, both of them quiet. Loki isn't really in the mood for company, but neither is he in the mood for an argument with his brother. So he allows him to stay. Both of them wallowing in their grief, their loss, even though she isn't dead, it feels like it to Loki. She will never forgive him for the way he's handled this situation. Loki lifts his eyes to look at Thor.

"She's really gone" Loki whispers sadly, Thor nods.


	12. Chapter Eight

Years Later:

Nienna sits in her and Neremy's chambers on Alfheim, they are as to be expected for a prince and the heir to the throne. It has become a shared space since her move to Alfeim, in the years since, it has taken on a more feminine, more blue style to match her as well as retaining the greens and browns that Neremy envelopes. She opens her Alethiometer and stares down at it as her fingers move the dials around. She doesn't know what answer she is looking for, but she is hoping that it will come from the device. She will admit that it usually collects dust, it is just a reminder that her parents are gone, that her father abandoned her. She's never met the man, she doesn't like talking about him. Everyone knows this, after Loki pranked a few people that dared to ask her. He knew how much the subject upset her. He was always doing little things like that to protect her. She takes a deep breath as she feels Neremy move behind her as he wakes in their bed. His hand reaches out and touches the small of her back before he sits up. Neremy kisses her shoulder and looks down at the device. Even he knows not to ask about her family. So he doesn't ask what she is looking for, he knows though.

“Do you wish to ride out to the falls today?” he asks her softly.

“I fear I would not be the best company” she whispers, he knows this, he knows that some days she just has no energy or drive to do anything but sleep, he knows it is down to the absence of Loki in her life, and he knows it is not personal. There is a hole in her heart that he can not fill, though he tried to fix their relationship before they left Asgard it has not healed in the years she has been with him. It's just festering in her soul. Neremy strokes her arm and then climbs out of bed. Nienna closes the Alethiometer and turns to watch him as he dresses for the day. He lets out a breath when he is finished before he turns to face her.

“Do you regret it?” he asks her, she shakes her head.

“No” she answers. “You know I don't, I love you...”

“I know that” he assures her. “I just wish things had been better when we left, that...I could fix what happened” she sets the Alethiometer down and stands to move to him.

“It couldn't be fixed” she offers. “It reached a point where it was broken beyond repair. I outgrew that life, and him....” he reaches up and brushes her hair behind her ear. “I am happy here” she assures him firmly. “I just have days...”

“And that is understandable” he stops her as he cups her cheek. “Not one soul blames you for what happened between the two of you” he nudges her nose with his own. “Will I see you for lunch?” he asks her softly, she nods.

“I wouldn't miss it” she answers straightening his buttons on his jacket.

“Would you like for me to send for Iorek?” he counters. “He always seems to know how to make you feel better”

“Yes,” she nods. “I would like to see him” he nods and leans closer to kiss her softly. She clutches to his jacket and then pulls back so she can watch him leave, the door closing behind her, her smile falling. She hates to put this mood on him. He doesn't deserve it from her. She doesn't deserve him at all.

….......

Every day that passes without Nienna, Loki tries. He sits in the library and he stares at whatever book he pulls from the shelves but he can never bring himself to take in the words on the pages. It's an empty gesture now. The time he used to spend with Nienna in the library. The hours hold up in their corner. He can't even bring himself to sit up there alone. He sits by himself at dinner to avoid any and all conversations. He hates his chambers because every little thing reminds him of her, yet he cannot bring himself to remove those items from the room. He wants them close and far away from him. He wants to burn them and cherish them at the same time. Something inside of him has darkened too. Hardened into hatred instead. Not at Nienna, never at her. But at those that he feels had a hand in this. Thor. Odin. His hatred is angled towards them. Loki glances up hearing rushed voices, his eyes following a messenger that hurries to keep up with Odin's strides. Loki lowers his book to pay attention to whatever is going on. There is a feeling in his chest that alerts him first, that something is wrong, that it is to do with Nienna.

“Alfheim is under attack,” The messenger tells Odin “Jotun have been spotted infiltrating the palace”

“Any word on the royal family?” Odin asks, and they all know he's asking about Nienna and Iorek, they all know how much she meant to Odin and Frigga, how much she meant to them.

“None” The messenger admits reluctantly. Loki hurries from his seat and towards his father, Odin turning to a nearby soldier.

“Gather a small force” Odin orders. “Alfheim are our allies and we must investigate”

“I am going with you” Loki states, Odin turns and looks at him, sees the look in his son's eyes, the determination, the fear. If Odin says no...Loki will go by himself anyway.

“Loki, are you sure? We have no idea what we will find there” Odin tells him, and he is right, there is nothing to say that they will find Nienna alive, or dead, or hurt, he knows that if she is hurt then Loki will simply blame himself for this.

“I am going” Loki repeats. “I have to go” Loki and Odin stare at one another, Odin then nods.

“Very well” He agrees, reluctantly. Loki nods before hurrying away to change into his armor. He's already lost her once, he will not lose her permanently. 


	13. Chapter Nine

Loki is one of the first to breach the Alfheim palace, he will not let another find Nienna first, it has to be him. He weaves his way through Jotun, ignoring them in order to seek out his friends. Iorek's roar fills the hall and Loki looks up to witness the Panserbjørne charging a Jotun archer. Loki's heart is beating wildly in his chest, Iorek is alone, he would never leave Nienna unprotected....if she were alive. Loki darts through a doorway to avoid the fighting and hurries towards the center of the palace, he knows that would be the most defensible place, and if the royal family was anywhere, that is where they would be. There is a blast of blue energy ahead and he knows it is her, he knows that she is alive. He rushes forward and around the corner to reach her.

“Nienna!” Loki yells seeing her standing there, fighting, of course, she would be fighting. Jotun numbers are strong, they came here in force, and they are still many now, even after the numbers that the elves killed, as well as the ones the Asgardians killed on their way in. Her eyes find his as he produces his daggers. Nienna lets out a scream and throws her powers forward with it, a shockwave of blue glowing energy erupting from her, taking out the Jotun left. She stares at their bodies and then collapses. Loki is running towards her before she even hits the ground, Odin's scolding falling on deaf ears. “Nienna” Loki begs as he falls to his knees at her side. “Wake up” he whispers lifting her into his arms, he's never seen her use her powers to that extent before. “Please” he whispers touches her face. “Please, please, I am sorry” he pulls her closer. “I am so sorry, please, wake up” she groans in his arms. “It's me” Loki assures her, his fingers brushing her hair back from her face. She stares up at him.

“Loki?” she asks, he nods and helps her sit up. She cries out and touches her side where pain spreads, her hand comes away bloody. “Ow,” she complains as she leans into Loki's shoulder. He kisses her head and just holds her. She pulls back. “Neremy?” she asks him, his eyes stare at her, and she sees the answers there, but she looks anyway, turning her head to look over the field of the fight, he had been at her back, fighting alongside her but....she lost sight of him, stopped hearing the ping of his bow.

“No, look at me,” Loki tells her drawing her face back to him. “Just...look at me” her eyes are wide, filled with devastating pain. Because he can see that she knows that her new family is dead. That her husband is dead. Her future has just been utterly decimated by this attack. “I'm so sorry,” he tells her, she closes her eyes sending tears down her cheek. He may not have liked the idea of her getting married, of her leaving Asgard, but he never wanted her to be hurt like this. Odin appears at Loki's shoulder.

“Loki?” he asks, Loki looks up at him.

“She is alive” Loki assures him. “Iorek?”

“Injured but....he will live” Odin assures them both. “He is asking after you, my dear,” Odin tells Nienna who shivers in Loki's arms. “Get her up” Odin whispers to Loki. “Keep her warm, we shall take her home soon enough” Loki nods and looks back at Nienna.

…..........

Loki sits against a wall with Nienna in his arms, she clutches to his jacket as he holds his hand over her wound, he's no expert at healing, he had no interest in that side of magic, more interested in the illusions and the trick spells. He wishes he had spent more time in those lessons now, maybe then he could fix this, make her better. He could fix her. But he can't. He has no way to fix this. He holds her closer to him.

“It won't be long now” he assures her as her eyes flutter slightly. He knows that Jotun weapons affect Asgardian healing, but he didn't think they would affect her this much given her hybrid nature, the Celestial in her should be fighting harder. He thinks it isn't all down to physical pain, he thinks she's stopping herself from healing because of her grief, because her husband is gone. Because she feels as though she has nothing worth living for. He lifts his knees slightly to pull her further into his lap, his arms tightening around her. He presses his head to hers. “You have to fight, Little Bear” he whispers to her, his hand coming up to brush her hair from her face. “Fight for me” he pleads. He looks up when Iorek is carried through the hall on a specialized stretched, that was created in consideration of his size and weight. Odin follows behind but veers off in Loki's direction.

“Go ahead with them,” Odin tells Loki. “Make sure they are seen to” Loki nods as the two Asgardian guards lift Nienna out of his arms, he wants to keep hold of her but he knows them taking her isn't malicious, they're taking her to help her, they lift her onto the stretcher like device. Loki looks down at his hands, covered in her blood. His lip quivers at how much of it he is covered in.

…...........

Loki doesn't leave Nienna's side, not when they arrive back on Asgard, not when the healers take over, and not when they are finished with her. He can't bring himself to. He partially blames himself for what has happened to her. If he had begged her to stay, if he had just told her how he felt, she would never have gotten married, she would have been here, with him, safe. None of this would have happened if he wasn't such a coward. He almost lost his best friend because he was too afraid to admit that he loved her. He holds her hand close to his chest as his free hand brushes through her hair.

“I am sorry” he whispers to her sadly, a tear sliding down his cheek. 


	14. Chapter Ten

Loki lingers behind Nienna who stands looking down at the body of her husband, her fingers stroking through his hair. Loki shouldn't be here, but she has been avoiding him since she left the healers. She's avoided everyone. He knows she is grieving, but she shouldn't be alone.

“Nienna?” Loki whispers, she sniffles and touches Neremy's face, he looks so peaceful, so calm, despite being dead. She was happy with him. Despite that Loki had basically ended their friendship with her marriage, despite not seeing him in years, she was finally happy with her husband. They were even talking about starting their own family. She was going to be a mother. She would have been a good mother. But she'll never have that now. Loki moves to her side and lets his eyes scan over her face, she looks so distraught, so in pain, and he doesn't know how to fix this but he wants to try. “It is not your fault” he whispers threading his fingers with hers at her side, she looks down at the motion before she pulls her hand away from him.

“I have not forgotten” she scolds. “How it was in the end for us” she lifts her eyes to his. “We cannot simply go back to how it was, how we were” she folds her arms over her chest, stopping either of them from touching one another. “You broke my heart” She admits, Loki hangs his head. “And what was left of it, died with him” She looks down at Neremy, her lip quivers as she begins to cry. “Now if you will excuse me, I would like to sit with my husband”

“Little Bear” Loki whispers.

“Never call me that again” she snaps at him, Loki stares at her. “You made your stance on our friendship perfectly clear when you decided not to attend my wedding, when you have not joined your parents, or you brother for visits, you do not get to use that nickname anymore”

“I am sorry” he tells her.

“And I do not believe you” she counters. “You are the God of lies, after all”

“I have never lied to you” he argues, she laughs humorlessly.

“All you've ever done is lie to me” she turns to face him. “You don't think that I knew how you felt about me” Loki stares at her. “You spent years keeping it to yourself, lying to me that all I ever was to you....was a friend” He hangs his head. “If you'd told me....none of this would have happened, and they would not be dead”

“You cannot know that” He argues quickly. “This attack might still have happened...”

“They were trying to kill me” She points out. “I heard them, they were looking for me, they were there for me....because I was no longer under the protection of Asgard they thought it would be easy....they slaughtered everyone in the palace to get to me. None of that would have happened if I had been here. If you had just told me the truth....if you had given me a sliver of hope that something could have happened between us even if nothing ever would....that's all it would have taken for me stay” They stare at one another. Loki knows this. He does. But he was scared she didn't feel the same way, he was afraid of his own feelings. Of hurting her. Of getting hurt. “All you had to do was be honest with me....” She finishes sadly. “But you couldn't even do that” Loki hangs his head. “I thought you were my friend” she accuses. “But I was just another of you pranks”

“No” he is quick to argue. “Never. It was never that. You are my friend” he assures her. “And I love you”

“It's too late for that” she whispers as she walks past him. Loki lets out a breath and looks at Neremy.

….........

Nienna sits against Iorek's chest, his head resting on a large pillow, a blanket wrapped around him, he is still healing, wrapped in bandages. She has come out of it physically fine, her healing having kicked in once the adrenaline disappeared, or perhaps her subconscious had heard and listened to Loki. She knows she still has to suffer through a funeral and then the following months and years without him. Neremy came to be her companion, her friend, and she got him killed simply for existing. How can she ever forgive herself for this?

…............

Nienna is given her old chambers whilst she is in Asgard, whilst she decides what she is to do next. Frigga has assured her that she can stay as long as she needs to. That this is and always will be her home. But she's not sure it feels like that anymore. She is not sure where she belongs now. Asgard and Alfheim broke her heart. She stands in the doorway and watches Thor as he heads towards her. He pauses noting the expression on her face. She looks exhausted, emotionally drained and lonely. Thor waves at her, she stares at him before she disappears inside and closes her chamber doors, Thor lowers his hand and sighs watching as blue tendrils of energy wrap around the door, preventing anyone from even knocking. She wishes to be alone and he doubts that Loki's magic could even get past her energy.

…............

Frigga drops into the seat next to Loki in the library. Loki isn't attempting to read this time, he just knew it would be empty this time of the day. Frigga knew she would find him in here.

“This is all my fault” Loki whispers. “I did this to her”

“Loki” Frigga warns. “You did not force the Jotun to invade Alfheim, you did not force them to attack the royal family. This is not your fault. She knows that”

“But if I had said something years ago, before she left...If I had just been honest with her....”

“You do not know what would have happened” Frigga argues, Loki lets out a breath and looks away from her. “She will mend and she will forgive you, just give her time to settle and for the hurt to lessen”

“What if she never does?” Loki asks her.

“She will...but it is going to hurt for a long time, you have to be patient”

“I have waited 900 years” Loki looks at her. “Patience I know”


	15. Epi - Many Years Later

In the days, weeks, months, years after Neremy's death, Nienna changes. It is only logical that she does. She had her entire life ripped away from her. Her husband. Her future. She stands flanking Frigga. Her place now. Back to being Asgard's ward. Gone are the bright colors she was known for. In place, she favors red and black. As dark as she can get. Her accessories all Alfiem inspired. A constant reminder of what her existence caused. Loki glances at her from where he stands with Thor and his..._friends_. Thor's friends more than Loki's. They just tolerate Loki's presence for Thor's sake. Loki knows that they pity him too. Knowing that he lost Nienna. That he lost his only true friend. Iorek shifts next to Nienna, her fingers reaching into his fur. He's been her constant and most reliable friend throughout her entire life. But he is worried about her too. His eyes looking up at her with such concern. Because he doesn't like this version of her. She's too quiet. Too withdrawn. She doesn't do anything she used to love. All the joy and love has gone from her life. Snuffed out. And it's only getting worse. As time passes, she falls deeper into a black hole of pain. Frigga touches Nienna's arm, the two of them sharing a look before Frigga walks away. Nienna takes a deep breath and smoothes her hand over her dress. Her features schooled and trained into an emotionless mask. Loki's eyes turn sad as he watches her.

…..........

Loki finds Nienna in their library alcove, she's curled up with a blanket. They haven't spoken since the day she returned to Asgard, years ago now. They see one another, because they live in the same palace, but she has gone out of her way to keep a line between them. She looks terrible here. No longer in public, she lets her sadness take over. Not that she would look anything but at this time. She's still in mourning. Even now. Even after all the years that have passed. She lost her path. Her husband. Her new family. Everything. And she still feels guilty too. That feeling that everything is her fault. He looks to the book in his hand and then sighs a little. He doesn't know why he came up here. For some form of comfort in the old. And he didn't expect to find her up here already. She doesn't look up at him. Doesn't acknowledge that he is even there. But he sits at her side anyway. Neither saying a word. Loki opens his book in his lap. They might not be on speaking terms right now but he can at least let her know that he is here for her, in whatever capacity she needs. It is silent between them. For minutes. She, surprisingly, is the one to break it.

“I love you too” She admits, Loki lifts his eyes from his book, her eyes flicker to him. “I have always loved you” Loki nods a little, he knows. “But it doesn't change anything....” She adds. “Whatever we were before....we can never go back” He looks down and closes his eyes. “Too much....” she looks away and takes a breath. “Too much pain” she looks back at him. “I am sorry”

“No” He stops her. “No, I am” she brushes her hand over her cheek. “I should have said something when I had the chance...I was a coward” he admits, she sniffles a little. “I was scared that....you would not...” he struggles with this, with admitting his feelings for her. To admit that she makes him weak. “You would not share my feelings. I was blinded by that fear. I ruined everything. I lost my best friend. And I cannot change that, I know....” He rubs his cheek on his shoulder to remove tears from his cheek. “I miss you” he admits.

“Loki” she starts.

“I know” he assures her. “We cannot be friends again, I just....wanted you to know” she plucks at the blanket in her lap. He lets out a breath and nods. He can give her something. And she loves this alcove. And she did find it first. “If you need to be away from me” He starts softly. “Then you can have the alcove,” he tells her, she shakes her head.

“No” She argues. “No, you can, I won't be staying much longer” he frowns at her.

“You are leaving? Asgard?” she nods.

“Yes. It is time for me to go” She admits.

“When?” he whispers sadly.

“I will see out Thor's coronation” She answers. “And after that is over...I will be leaving” He stares at her.

“Nienna” He pleads.

“It will be done, Loki” She stops him. “I will go...I cannot stay here. There are too many memories...Too much hurt. I need a fresh start...somewhere far away”

“But my mother...” Loki starts. He knows how much Nienna means to Frigga, how much Frigga loves Nienna.

“Frigga knows,” Nienna tells him, Loki lets out a breath. “It was her idea” Loki makes a wounded noise in the back of his throat because he can't believe that Frigga would do this to him, to them, when she knows how they feel about one another. “She thinks me taking some time for myself, away from Asgard and Alfiem and all the reminders would do me some good....”

“Will you come back?” he looks at her.

“I do not know” She admits as she stands taking her blanket with her. “I wish you well though” he stares up at her. “Hope you get....everything you want to make you happy” she takes a breath and then walks away from him. Loki's eyes follow her. He won't get everything he needs to make him happy. Because it just walked away from him. And Loki knows that if she leaves, when she leaves this time....she will never return. He will never see her again. He buries his head in his hands as he cries. He has cried so much over her. He can't keep doing this. He can't have her. He needs to accept that. That whatever they may have been, is over, and can never be repaired. He lifts his head. Something harder in his eyes now.

_ **' Nienna will return.......'** _


End file.
